Things have gone rapidly downhill here. Remember that line in the New York, New York song … ‘If you can make it there, you’ll make it ANY where!’ Well sorry to be the bearer of bad news. This ‘cosmopolitan’ New Yorker would likely end up panhandling if abandoned here in Dunedin.
I (jokingly) thought the big issue in the Southern Hemisphere would be the rush of blood to the head, standing upside down just off to the right of Australia on the South Island of New Zealand. (next stop Antartica)
Not. A much bigger issue is the time change. From this picture, things don't look all that
desperate - late morning here, early evening in New York. What's the big deal? Well with my competitive nature, it's no fun to jump out of bed at 6:30 AM only to realize that everybody from Montreal to Miami has long finished with lunch. And then things get very bleak when I'm ready to get on social media and almost everyone I know is getting into their pajamas. I only know about four people in this whole time zone and they apparently have real lives, not looking to twitter and facebook to give them a sense of their worthiness like some people. The big wet silence from 5PM until bedtime is just incredibly lonely. Sort of like I'm on Mars.
And then, there's the ongoing problem with not being able to figure out how to cross a street without getting run down. As Mr. Green put it: "You never know where these cars are going to be coming from!"
And let's not forget the language problem. I thought, with my grasp of English, I'd at least be able to order a pizza, a regular ingredient of which is 'capsicum'. When asked, the young woman behind the counter at the pizza place obliged by translating: "Oh, that's peepers!" Peepers, I thought, pushing away the thought of tiny dead frogs sprinkled over my slice of pizza. "Peepers." I repeated. "RED peepers!" she filled in the picture. Grimacing, I recalled the tiny vermillion frogs seen in pictures of tropical rain forests. I guess they eat all kinds of different things down here below the equator. And then she returned from the kitchen with a cuttting board covered with slices of red pepper. Oh. Got it.
But the real deal breaker is, of course, the internet. Everybody knows you have to turn off cellular data or you end up like we did that time pleading with Verizon to forgive a $500 bill cause we'd asked for Siri's help in getting around Québec. Here in New Zealand, my snazzy iphone is sporadically downgraded to a camera. Connecting with our grown child this morning turned into something close to an epic failure.
Though my problem isn't with 'Bruce', Kris' eloquent three worder gives you a clear picture of my present state.
